Sick and Tired

Friends once told me that I am so lucky, I am like a multi-plug and I can adapt to any group of friends and be on good terms with everyone. Someone even once mentioned that they are envious I have plenty of good friends. I use to take it as a compliment. Now, I am not so sure.

I am just so sick and tired of all the drama and all the likes and all the dislikes and backstabbing. I don't see how people can call others their friends when they can't accept them for the good and the bad. I am not talking about acquaintances, or hi-bye kind of friends... I am talking about genuine friends.

It just gets so damn tiring to hear constant complaining about the same old things over and over and over again among people who are supposed to be friends. Just get a move on it already. But I think what's worst, or perhaps what I am most sick and tired about is I don't expect a lot from friendship and yet everyone else seems to expect something from me.

I don't care if you are a guy or a girl, if you are my friend, I will go all out for you. I am that kind of friend. And I don't expect anything in return because that's how it is suppose to work. How can you call others your friend if you expect something in return. I can forgive. I can forget. I like to do things on my own terms, at my own time. I will say something when I feel the time is right.

Perhaps the final straw to all these sick and tiredness came last night. Every year during this time, my thoughts and my actions get very distracted because it is after all my best friend's anniversary of his passing. I think I can be forgiven for not being myself or being a good friend during this time because I am very distracted by events which took place 7 years ago. So you can imagine how irritated and how pissed I got just because I didn't mention something for once.

The actual story goes something like this. A friend wants to introduce someone to me and I only saw her for 15 mins 2 days ago and from my rear mirror of my car because I gave her a lift home. We barely shared 5 sentences of conversation and yes I thought she was really eye-catching but didn't give it much thought because well, distracted. I didn't mention to anyone the full story or what I thought because it wasn't the right time. I just casually mentioned there MAY be a girl who I MAY be interested in but I don't have her number I don't have her FB, etc. So when that accidentally got slipped out, I never thought a friend would actually compare me to another of her friends just because I didn't mention something that is nothing at all. She compared me to her "friend" who only makes use of her and is totally fucked up. I can't believe I got compared to a fucked up person. Seriouisly. JUST because I didn't mention something that is actually about nothing.

I mean come on, you have got to be kidding right? So that's what I am in your eyes. Just because I didn't mention something when it's nothing at all and suddenly I am a fucked up friend.

You know what, that was probably the final straw. I am sick and tired of listening to all the bullshit, all the gossips, all the backstabbings amongst friends. And I am talking about MANY groups of friends here. I am done. I am done being a good friend to everyone. Really. I have just had about enough. I am really tired of all the drama's.